Where have I been, you ask...or rather gave up asking months ago if you are one of my long-time readers.

Still here, and "here" is South Dakota for those of you who missed that step in my life almost one year ago. And I'm still a stay-at-home Mama of two - yes, TWO, for those of you who missed that step in my life 11 months ago. Still hanging in there.

Over the past year I have thrown myself into my home life -family, moving, carrying and having a baby, setting up and settling in to my new home and environ, being an extremely supportive wife as my husband started his new job, and so on and so forth. All of this was not only unavoidable and neccessary, but also where my husband and I wanted to be, so all the stress and effort has been worth it, and the payoff has been good - healthy baby, well adjusted four year old, content husband, yada yada.

It has come to my attention recently, however, that I have almost completely neglected myself throughout this entire endevor. Not healthwise, or anything like that - heck, I challenge you to find another mama who ate as many right things when I was carrying Jackson, breastfed until he went on milk, went to all the appropriate drs appointments and actually followed the advice given, etc. From that angle, things look good - I'm a picture of good health, even if I'm lacking the requisite amount of sleep required by the Law of Those With Infants.

It's been more a realization that I haven't kept my mental faculties in tip-top shape. When was the last time I read a book [that wasn't pregnancy or childcare related]? When was the last time I practiced Yoga [not just counting house work as my daily exercise]? When was the last time I enjoyed being outdoors [without worrying about my four year old wondering away from the yard]? When have I written anything [of substance]?

My creative juices are in serious need of FLOW.

Part of me is resigned to the fact that I am at home with my children instead of being out there competing in the Marketplace, toiling away at some desk job. It is a Blessing to raise these boys. I know this. They are wonderful little beings, and it is an honor to be given the opportunity to play such an important role in their lives.

But the other part of me gets a bit depressed when I think of how old I will be when I actually get to have my career and shift my focus away from my home a little.

And part of me keeps reminding myself that Today is the most important thing. Just live Here. Now. And be content with what I have because *really* I am blessed to be here today.

I have a feeling that many women struggle with the question of 'Where did I go?' as they fold laundry, fix lunches, and put bandaides on scrapes.

I'm not unhappy, I'm just wondering what happened to Me in all of this.